Tales From the Forts
by Twister980
Summary: INCIDENT REPORT **/**/**** (DATE CLASSIFIED): Director - Two of the Mercenaries, [REDACTED] and [WITHHELD] have been clashing with each other, their actions have cost us more money than the War you funded between Mr. DeGroot and Mr. Doe. Within this file are reports from each location, I would recommend immediate termination of these two. - Pauling
1. Chapter 1

PLR_Hightower loading...

...Loading.

The Blu Team break-room clock ticked ominously as the Blu team filed into their spawn. The nine mercs clocked in as they stepped through the  
warehouse door, each one opening their lockers and removing their weapons; preparing for battle. This story focuses on these particular  
members of the RED and BLU teams, introducing the first of many: Adam Calhoun.

"Medic!" The Blu medic winced as the demo screamed in his ear. "Doktor'!" The Heavy screamed, forcing the medic to cover his ears as the  
heavy and demoman began tugging at his coat. The Blu Engineer, Adam, tucked his purple locks up under his hard hat. His eyes met the pyro's,  
Who waved in greeting, and began pulling The Homewrecker and the Reserve Shooter from his/her locker. Adam grinned, then began pulling his weapons  
from the locker. The Scout was mumbling something to himself, a grin on his face. The Spy got into CQC position, while The Sniper cleaned his rifle.  
Adam began going through his toolbox, checking through his metal and confirming his blueprints were in working order.

"Mission begins in 60 seconds."

"So, we all set Doktor'?" The Red Medic ran his gloved hands and eyes over his Medigun, then grinned. "Yes, we are all set to practice  
medicine today." The Red Pyro pushed past the Heavy and Medic and pulled a frying pan and the Scorch Shot from the locker. The Red  
Soldier sat down on a bench, loading the Black Box with rockets, while whistling the National Anthem to himself. Meanwhile,  
the Scout and Sniper were all tense, the Scout bounced from one foot to the other, while the sniper gripped his rifle  
until his knuckles turned white.. The Red Engineer and Spy stood in place nervously, the Engineer all set to deploy,  
and the Spy all set to fight. The last team member took her time, tightening a silencer onto the end of her rifle,  
and tuning the scope. "We set, Snipes?" The Scout directed at her, she smirked. "I've been ready for the  
last ten minutes. I don't know what you wankers've been doing." The Scout rolled his eyes, but a grin spread across his  
face. "Gettin' ready to kick some Blu ass, that's what dis' wanker's been doin'." The Sniper chuckled and returned to checking  
her rifle.

"Mission begins in 10 seconds."

"I am fully charged!" The Blu medic cried, the Demo and Heavy grinning as the Medic's beam bounced between them. "Well, let's hope zis  
time we don't get steamrolled." The Blu spy muttered, earning a glare from the Blu sniper. "Maybe if you'd stop rushing in like Bloody Solid  
Snake, maybe you'd get a kill once in awhile!" The Scout rolled his eyes, then opened his can of Bonk. "Would you morons just shut yer' traps  
and prep? We're gonna get blown over if we don't work together!" The Pyro nodded in agreement, before mumbling something to the Spy. "Mumbles  
does make a good point, Frenchie. Maybe if you started using your disguise kit..."

"Mission begins in 5..."

The Red scout tapped his foot, his hands resting on his Soda Popper.

"4..."

The Blu Scout raised his Bonk to his lips and began chugging, the flat of his sword patting against his hip.

"3..."

The Red Medic began overhealing the Heavy, static crackling from his Medigun.

"2..."

Adam gripped his wrench tightly, then glanced down at his Pip-Boy. "Come on..."

"1!"

The gates opened, Red and Blu mercs flooded through their break-rooms and out of the spawns.

"Let the games begin!"

"Sentry up on the right side, I'm going in. Snipes, cover me." The Blu Scout loaded his Scattergun, then rushed the Red Sentry.  
"Watch it, wankah!" The Scout slid across the ground, dodging the bullets flying from the Sentry's miniguns, then fired  
upwards into the sentry. Destroying circuitry and blasting through the Red Engineer, sending him to the ground with a loud cry of pain.  
"Come on, Aussie. Shoot it!" The Sentry whirred and sparked as the Sniper shot it, then it spun in circles before exploding. The Scout  
got back to his feet, then leapt into the air. "Woo! That was badass, snoipes!" The sound of a Minigun made him turn around, he sighed  
as he came face to face with the Red Heavy and Medic. "Aw, crap." His body was suddenly riddled with bullets, then sent flying off of the  
cliff. The Heavy stepped forward, a grin on his face. "Uhn!" The Medic winced, dropping to his knee as a bullet passed through his right shoulder.  
"Doktor!" The Medic looked up, then shook his head. "Hit charge, Doktor!" The Medic quickly Übered him, the heavy in response turned his minigun  
towards the Blu Sniper. "Piece ah' piss!" The Sniper squeaked out as his lookout was riddled with bullets. "Stop hiding, Baby Man!"  
The Über ended, and the Heavy lowered his rifle, chuckled. "Who send all these babies to fight?" The Sniper peared over his lookout and flipped  
the two off. "Piss off, big head!" The Heavy stepped forward, his fists raised. "Come, we fight like men!" The Medic screamed in pain.  
the heavy looked over his shoulder in surprise, then growled. "Medic!" The Blu Spy stepped back, his revolver and knife in hand.  
"Diagnosis? Death." He jumped backward as the Heavy rushed him, slicing into the Russian man's knuckles. "Stupid, tiny, baby!"  
Each swing led to slices across the Heavy's knuckles, until the giant Russian rushed the smaller Frenchman and  
the two tumbled off the cliff to their deaths.

Adam chuckled as he spotted the Russian and the Frenchman tumble off the cliff, they'd be back. The respawn saved a copy  
of each merc on either team right at the moment of death, turning the corpses into a load of particles that would ascend into the stratosphere  
and someday destroy all human kind. Wait, that wasn't right. Adam shook his head, then turned his attention back to upgrading his dispenser.

The sound of electricity caught his ear, he growled. "Spy sappin' mah sentry!" He turned to face the Red Spy, and received a slash across his  
goggles in return. He growled, pulling the goggles down onto his neck. "You're gonna pay for those, slim!" The Spy rolled his eyes. "Oh,  
I broke it; I bought it?" He gestured to his sentry, sparks flying as metal disintegrated. Adam roared as he swung his wrench, the Spy  
swiftly ducked under Adam's arm and stabbed him in the back. "Oh dear..." The Spy said as the Engineer took his last breath. "I do believe I have  
made quite a mess. Don't feel bad, cowboy. You did your best, and that's all that matters. Hah hah hah!" The Spy snorted, before sapping the dispenser  
as well. His laughter stopped suddenly as a Blu dot came to rest between his eyes. "Oh, Mon Dieu." His head exploded in a shower of blood and gore,  
his body slumped against the Blu dispenser. The machines exploded, sending blood everywhere. "Spy that, ya fancy bloody wuss!" The Blu sniper shouted,  
his head suddenly disappearing in a spray of red mist. The red sniper smiled as she reloaded her silenced sniper rifle, her scope roaming over  
the Red Spy's chaos.

Adam respawned, a shiver running up and down his spine. "That damn, dirty Frenchman!" He roared, his hands clenched into fists.  
He scooped his wrench up and rushed straight out of their spawn.

"Sentry goin' up." Adam muttered as he began building his automated sentry gun. The sound of a decloaking spy made Adam turn around with a yell.  
His wrench connected with the Spy's skull, who let out a scream of pain as he fell to the ground. "Slither on back to hell, you coward." Adam  
said, pulling his Luger from it's holster. "Well played." The Spy leapt to his feet and reached for his revolver, only to be shot in the head.  
Adam chuckled as the Spy's body fell to the floor. "Dumber than dirt, ain'tchya?" Adam's expression fell as he heard the Dead Ringer decloak.  
"Darn." As his now limp body fell to the floor, the Spy chuckled. "Did I throw a wrench into your plans!?" His chuckle turned into a snort,  
a snort that ended with a boom. Adam respawned with a grin, glancing at his Pip-Boy and confirming his sentry had fired off it's rockets.

The Red sniper raised an eyebrow as the Engineer returned to his spot. "Well, the egghead managed to pull it off." She chuckled to herself,  
slicing through the Blu Spy who appeared behind her without even breaking a sweat. "Two-faced Wankin' Mongrel." She muttered, a grin still on her  
face. A battle cry, and the Soldier charged past her; forcing her to back up as he rocket-jumped across the map. He roared in delight as he goomba-stomped  
the Blu Pyro on his/her way out of spawn. "Get a haircut, Hippie!" She chuckled to herself as he muttered (very loudly); "...Just in case."

"ATTENTION: Two minutes left in the mission, two minutes left in the mission!" The Red Sniper wiped her brow, this round had gone on long enough.  
She leapt from her perch and charged the Payload, throwing her weight against it. Bullets and rockets shot past her, only making her push harder.  
She glanced around the bomb, then groaned. They had at least twenty feet of tracks left until the elevator. She cast furative glances  
around for her teammates, but they were all off on their own little missions. "This ain't a walk-a-bout, Wankers! Push the cart!"  
Their Medic peaked out from behind a box, where he was pocketing the spawn camping Red Heavy. "Shut up! Why don't you push?"  
The Heavy laughed, shoving a sandvich into the Medic's mouth. "Hah! Good one, Doktor." The Sniper sighed and resumed pushing,  
She looked up and around in shock as the alarms went off. "The bomb has almost reached the final terminus!" She cast a glance over the bomb,  
her eyes widening as the Blu Engineer pushed the Blu bomb onto the elevator, sitting down with a grin as the elevator began ascending. She gasped,  
hopping to her feet and dashing over to the platform. She leapt and snagged the edge with her fingers. She hauled herself up which slowed the  
elevator's ascension. "The hell?" He muttered, slowly getting to his feet. He almost fell off the edge as she charged him, her kukri in hand.  
"Wankah!" He dodged to swipes, then kicked out; sending her stumbling backward and onto her rear. "You ready to dance, pardner?" He asked, a  
smirk on his face, his green eyes meeting her brown ones. She delivered a swift kick to his crotch, he hissed, dropping  
to the ground with his hands on his genitals. "Aw, Hell." She got to her feet, and spat at him, her hand gripping her kukri tight.  
The engineer slowly got to his feet, she stabbed him through the stomach. "Augghhh..." He gurgled, blood flowing from his mouth.  
"Take that, ya mongrel." He let out a short laugh. "What's so funny, Cowpie?" He began patting the bomb, the Sniper's eyes widened  
as she realized their climb had not halted. "Dumber than dirt, ain'tcha?" The bomb exploded, and all went dark.

Adam respawned with a loud hoot. "They call me mule, boy! 'Cause all I do is carry!"

The Red Sniper, growled and stalked over to her locker. She threw it open and threw her weapons inside, slamming it and locking it behind her.  
The name on the locker? Kayden Trix.

And now we come to the second of our main heroes; Kayden Trix. Part time sniper for the red team, badass, and all-around awesome chick.  
And yet? She was pissed off, something that did not happen to our cool-headed heroine very often.

She stormed away from the two payload towers, her uniform in a bag slung over her shoulders. "So the goal is to kill the other team, right?"  
She scoffed, glancing at her teammates as they walked off to their vehicles. "We're all a bunch of no-hopers!" She opened the door to her RV,  
then slammed the door shut behind her. She shoved her parking pass into the waiting attendant's face, then roared off. Heavy metal blaring  
from her speakers as she grit her teeth, next round; that Texan was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

CP_Gorge loading...

...Loading.

"Mission begins in thirty seconds."

Kayden cracked her knuckles, and kricked her neck. "Who wants to win this bloody game?"  
The Heavy nodded in agreement, the Medic grinning behind him. "We should start winning now."  
The Soldier stood tall on a nearby bench, glaring down at his team mates.  
The Red Spy, Scout, Sniper, Engineer and Pyro stood together. "I will not stand for losing!"  
He thrust a finger in the air, then pointed to each of them. "I'm going to tell you ladies a secret: I hate losing!" He cracked his knuckles.  
"We will NOT lose again! Remember boys, it is always darkest before we win! And I am going to WIN, with or without you!"  
He shouldered his Liberty Launcher and charged out the door, flailing his shovel as he went. "Crackpot's got a point."  
The Scout muttered. The Pyro mumbled something, then pulled the Powerjack from his/her locker and gave chase.  
The Scout rolled his eyes, a smile on his face as he chased after the Pyro.  
The Sniper cheered as he followed the young Boston ball-player out of spawn, The Heavy and The Medic not far behind.  
Kayden shook herself, getting into a fighting stance. The Spy strutted past, giving her a look. "Enough practice, time to start playing!"  
Kayden grinned, for once; the Frenchy was right.

Adam limped into a corner of the Gorge, his Pip-Boy reading off warning messages. He growled at the device, then pulled out his toolbox.  
He placed a Dispenser in front of the doorway, then sat down against it; letting the particle beam do it's work.  
He let out a sigh as his leg began to mend, a smile on his face. Suddenly, he was flat on his back, his dispenser had been pushed aside.  
Standing over him was the Sniper from the day before, her glasses glinting in the light. "I'm gonna carve you a new cake hole!" He rolled out of the way as she stabbed the ground with her kukri. He quickly got to his feet, only to be rewarded with two revolver rounds going through his gun arm. The Red spy stood behind her, a smile on his face. He leaned towards the Sniper, his smile never fading.  
"We should go easy on him, he is playing with a handicap." She looked back at him incredulously. He raised his eyebrows repeatedly.  
"He does not have ME on his team!" He began snorting, earning a sigh from Red and Blu alike. "You're dumb as a box of rocks!"  
Adam chuckled out, earning a snort from the Sniper. The Spy glared at her, then turned his attention back to Adam. "Giddyup now-"  
He raised his Big Earner, a glint in his eyes. "TO HELL!" He fired a shot, striking the wall a foot away.  
The Spy gasped in shock, then tried again. Miss, miss, and another miss.  
He screamed in frustration, threw the weapon aside and pulled out his butterfly knife.  
"Let's settle this like-" He was cut off by an elbow to the gut from the Sniper.  
He glared at her, pain evident in his face. "I HATE you!" He slumped to the ground, down for the count.  
The Sniper smirked, then glared at Adam, who was trying to scoot away while her attention was elsewhere.  
"Hold still!" She picked up the spy's knife, and tossed it at him. He squealed and dove out of the way.  
"Everything above your neck is going to be a fine red mist!" She screamed as she raised her Kukri high.  
She squeaked, then screamed in pain as the Blu Spy stabbed her in the back. He smiled slightly at the wounded Engineer. "Cheers, Engineer."  
Adam grinned. "Thanks for the help, Scoundrel." The Spy glanced down at the girl, then huffed.  
"I have a tie. I am wearing it, it's silk, and it costs $9000. I do not need another one!"  
Adam chuckled, his eyes widening as the Medic stepped into the room; his beam trailing from the Heavy to him. "Thanks, Doc."

Kayden screamed in frustration as she respawned, she paced around the room. "Time has been added."  
She eyed the watch on her wrist, the timer had increased by ten minutes. She hurled her kukri at the Scout, who just barely dodged it.  
"Woah, what the hell Camps!?" She yanked another Kukri from the weapons locker and charged angrily out of the spawn.  
She was promptly airblasted by a spawn-camping Pyro, falling right into a pill straight from a nearby Demoman.  
She respawned with another scream, then pulled the Huntsman from her locker. She charged out of spawn,  
launching one arrow at the Pyro; who airblasted it back at her. She ducked, the arrow struck the Demoman.  
"OOOHHHGGAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The Pyro gasped, dropping it's flamethrower, and rushed to the Demoman's side.  
Kayden used those precious seconds to fire three arrows into the Pyro's tank, blowing the two Blu teammates to pieces.  
She roared in an adrenaline fueled moment of fury, then fired off two more arrows into a sniper who was failing to be sneaky.  
"Get on the point, you wankers!" She made a mad dash for the point, sliding to a halt as a Heavy/Medic Combo rounded the corner.  
"Ah, Piss." She muttered, quickly letting an arrow fly. The Medic ducked the arrow, which nailed the Soldier coming up behind him.  
"Damn you Merasmus!" The Soldier screamed as he fell to the ground. The Medic face palmed, muttering to himself. "My skill is wasted on this team..."  
The Heavy roared, and charged in; leaving his medic behind.  
Kayden grinned, and two arrows struck their target, one to the Heavy's crotch, and one to his head.  
The Medic squealed when he saw his charge fall, and quickly scrambled back around the corner.  
Kayden rolled into the warehouse, firing off arrows in every direction. Most of them not hitting anything, except for one very unlucky spy.  
She had done it, the middle CP was back in their hands.

Their Medic and Soldier had decided flanking was their best option, and were paying for it.  
The Blu Heavy and Demoman had them pinned down, so Kayden shot at them from above.  
One shot to his lucky eye, and the Demoman was uselessly firing into the air. "Auuuuggghhhh!"  
The Heavy shoved a sandvich into his comrade's mouth, receiving an arrow through the side of his skull as a reward.  
The Demoman blinked as the arrow fell from his now healed eye, then laughed. "Hah Hah!" He hefted his grenade launcher,  
launching a pill at Kayden. "Ah, Piss." She muttered, quickly rolling out of the way. "You will not be missed."  
The Demoman squawked in surprise, and took a rocket to the skull. As blood and gore rained down, the Medic and Soldier charged the second point. "We have captured the control point!" The Soldier placed a grave stone in front of the bloodied Demo's corpse, a grin on his face.  
"I love your death, cyclops; your death is sweet to me like love is sweet." The Medic chuckled from behind him, pushing his glasses up his nose.  
"Zat vas doktor-assisted homicide!" He said, spitting on the corpse. The Soldier hefted his Liberty Launcher, then gestured toward the final point. "Let's get this point capped, ladies. Dinner's on me!" He screamed, charging in. Kayden and the Medic followed suite. However, it was not necessary. Their Spy had sapped the Engineer's buildings, but had smartly left his flanking teleporter alone.  
Everyone had ignored the defenses, or lack thereof, and had tried reclaiming their second point, only to have a Spy cap it.  
He dusted off his suit, and adjusted his tie. He glared at Kayden, then gave her a wry grin. "For someone else, that might have been a challenge!" Kayden rolled her eyes, then grinned. "Job done! Let's hit the bar!" The Soldier tossed his Liberty Launcher aside, shoving two peace signs into the air. "U! S! A!" He roared, then began pounding his chest.

Adam sighed as he respawned, running a gloved hand over his face.  
He had left his sentry alone for ten seconds, and that dirty frenchman destroyed it.  
He tossed his wrench across the spawn, the faded golden paint chipping even more.  
He pulled his goggles off his face, then tossed them into his locker.  
He pulled off his gloves and tossed them in as well. He quickly fished out his truck keys, along with his ID, then slammed the door shut.  
He quickly stalked out of spawn and out into the parking lot, he angrily flashed the attendant his ID, then drove off. He grit his teeth, his grip  
tight on the wheel. "Them boys've gone and made me lose my temper."


End file.
